


Correction

by paper75fire



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Acting, Angst and Feels, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Bad Poetry, Canon Compliant, Character Analysis, Character Study, Christine Canigula Has ADHD, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, During Canon, Emotional Manipulation, Everything Hurts, Feelings, Gen, Heavy Angst, High School, Hurt No Comfort, I Tried, Internal Monologue, Lies, Loneliness, Manipulation, Melancholy, Mental Health Issues, Past Christine Canigula/Jeremy Heere, Plot Twists, Poetry, Random & Short, Revelations, Sad Ending, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Short One Shot, Squips (Be More Chill), Surprise Ending, Teen Angst, Theatre, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unhealthy Relationships, sorta - Freeform, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 17:16:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paper75fire/pseuds/paper75fire
Summary: Christine tries to fix what isn't broken.





	Correction

Habits are tough to break

Experience taught her that

Through how hard it was to quit bugging her peers with inane info dumping no one wants to hear

No one needs to hear

Shouting out things she regrets

As she begs herself

Her mind

To just _shut the fuck up_

Lying

She thinks that's her nastiest vice

She channels it through acting

A sorry attempt to make it a productive skill

Useful

Fun

~~Unlike her~~

Lets it guide her through Middleborough

It still manages to infect everything about her

No matter how hard she tries

Helps her create the person that everyone thinks that she is

The award-winning, 5 star performance of Christine

Who's careful to keep the chaos of her mind at bay

To hunch over at her desk

Out of sight

Out of mind

To be the quaint

Sweet

Passive

Timid

Apolitical

Silent

Empty

Socially savvy doormat her peers seem to want from her

In a pitiful, childish attempt to more than survive

Stowing away the christine she locks away in her scatterbrain

Till the sharp cry of the bell infests her ears

For the fifth time that day

Ripping her away from her window view

And she floors it

Bolting towards blinding stage lights

Cozy costumes she anxiously tugs at

Marked up scripts painting her hands in paper cuts

Ink stains

Lead smudges

As she peers out at the array of empty seats

Taking in the exhilarating view from onstage

As she envisions them on opening night

Overflowing with classmates

Staff

Parents

Anyone ready to hear what Christine has to offer

To absorb whatever narrative she feeds them

To play whatever part she auditions for

To lie

To deceive that night's audience about their favorite star

To scrub away every trace of christine

The freak show too eccentric to blend in

Too plain to love Jeremy right

Too different to love Jake at all

Too chatty and odd to have friends

Too brazen and loud to keep friends

Too lonely to stay a loner

Too hyper

Too weird

Too _much_

Crashing over her classmates in waves

Leaving them weary and board and exhausted

Of course,

That might sound harsh

But she's always known it's true

Her Squip's just confirming it

Backing up it's claims with evidence

Opening up her eyes

To save her

To save them

To save everyone

After all

How do you fix something

Without acknowledging what's broken?


End file.
